Northerners Laugh, Not Howl

April Fool, a Canadian love
Rahman Mohamed

The laugh.  No historian has confirmed but it’s likely our human ancestors had a sense of humour, the ones who invented paper in China around 500 BCE but didn’t think of toilet paper for another 2300 years, 1857 CE.  It’s been reported that Chimpanzees, the ancestors of our ancestors, have been observed laughing.  If they can laugh at each other for dropping a banana it’s likely our ancestors laughed at each other for burning themselves while cooking a bunny or stubbing toes on the beta wheel.

It’s widely known many consider that “laughter is the best medicine”.  What many don’t know: Canadians are not just polite, they’re funny.  (It’s true.  They’re not always smiling at you to be polite.  In the future it might be smiling because they’re high.)

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Nova’s Rays Exclusive: The Rewrite!

O Canada, welcome to the 21st century!
Rahman Mohamed

Earlier this month Nova’s Rays reported that Canadian parliament was considering changing the lyrics of O Canada.  On June 16 BBC reported Canadian MPs voted to change the Canadian anthem to make it gender neutral and was being taken to the final stage: the Senate.  Bill C-210, a Private Member’s Bill, may not be passed in its entirety before Summer Recess; it is currently on Second Reading at the Senate and is considered an “Other Bill”; the House of Commons has risen for Summer RecessSenate is scheduled to sit until tomorrow, June 30.  Canadians and tourists may be forced to sing the past historical anthem that does not reflect gender equality on Friday, Canada Day 2016.

Nova’s Rays has obtained exclusive content of the full changes of the English and French anthems of Canada planned by Parliament.  They are not limited to gender equality.   Sources say these changes will be brought on a gradual basis to prevent extreme coverage from the media and retaliation from the public.  The changes are set in a schedule to be in place before July 1, 2017, Canada’s sesquicentennial to ensure Canada has a 21st century national anthem.

Below are drafts of the new English and French Canadian anthems exclusive to Nova’s Rays.

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The Leaders of The World

Rahman Mohamed

Politicians can be really great.
They make you laugh.
They make you think.
And they always have a word to say.
Otherwise they won’t get paid.

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